the title

I thought it would be a pretty good idea to shed some light on the title of my blog. The meaning is quite simple. This is for people who felt they had nothing else, the end was near, yet somehow found reason to keep plugging away. It is for people to know they aren't alone, and recognize just how much would be left. We wake up and realize just how the day after what we felt was our last really feels. People become a little more aware as things don't quite both us so much. Not much else to offer today. I am home with my son today and having a blast. Today I consider myself to be Lou Gehrig!!! Yippee!!!

Josh Waitzkin

As I sat and watched one of my favorite movies, the thought of reflection became more apparent. In order to grow people need to do things for themselves. For years I have done things out of spite. Ugh, is that tiring. While watching today, I started to realize what it was that I needed to really start working on. People give and take from one another everyday. It is what we take that is more important than what we give. I know it sounds selfish, but let me explain. By taking, we are listening, reasoning and while maybe not agreeing with also respecting others opinions, ideas, and actions. It is how we take what we observe and experience from others that starts to shape us. We are all little reflections of people we have met. The reflection is something that we want others to take from us. Paying it forward in a way. Our reflection is determined by our open mindedness as well as our personalities. The hardest part of this is recognizing our reflection and changing what we don't like about it. That part can be quite humbling!! Weird that I can come up with something like that while catching the end of a movie and giving the hammer a bottle for a nap he would refuse to take!!! Thanks again~~ while I have you though, my gripe...how does school start and a bookstore not have a book. Secondly, how do they justify charging what they do for books. Online I found a book 70 dollars cheaper, seriously, and we worry about people gas gouging. Hello!!! I have figured out why students are broke. It is not credit cards, binge drinking, or being wasteful. It is money wasted on a new edition, which should really read, "edited edition." Because we all know they just fixed a typo!!!!

Accountability

Well as you can see, it has been some time since I have posted. I think it is safe to assume, I have not been living up to the goals that I have. That being said, I wouldn't call this summer a total loss. I have, in my opinion, done a great job spending time with my wife and son, enjoying the summer and each other's company. While I have slipped on my long road, my support system has me working toward growth as more of a complete person. School is beginning and I am taking one class this semester. I also will be studying for a promotional exam in the not so distant future, so this too will keep me busy. A friend of mine writes here as well and she has mentioned talk of censoring herself. Let me be the first to tell you that I will not apologize for my opinions, as they are mine, I will not be offended if you are offended, and to be quite honest, would be more offended, if I didn't offend some. That would really worry me. Anyways, I know I have few readers and that will change. Nobody here really knows about me. In order for me to grow, I must hold myself more accountable and be honest to myself before I can move forward. The next few months will be spent hard at work. Hopefully my OCD will allow me to delve into my work as much as I have been into numbers. It is funny to think about how much wasted energy I have spent in my life being distracted by numbers. It is time for me to be distracted by numbers that matter....here are just a few....1092004, 2201974,6132007,12022003....those are numbers that are the ones I should be focusing on....not all of them listed...just a few...anyone solving the puzzle wins a prize...a coaster with a donkey on it (they belong to my wife...i have deemed them expendable)...adios...and hopefully soon I will have something a bit more interesting and less cryptic for you to read