Saturday, February 14, 2009

Humble Pie

So here I am with a lot to say and once again I am tired and probably will ramble, as I have a tendency to do that when I am so tired. Before I get to the best Valentine's Day ever, I want to bring everyone up to speed with what has been going on here.

So I survived the Super Bowl and am working on getting myself ready for what I am best at. College basketball. I know I know, thats what they all say. This is something that I have been freakish about in years past. I would be a liar if I said I didn't make a lot of money during the NCAA tournament and those conference tourneys leading up to it. My problem is simply that I cannot stop at winning a certain amount. I will play and play and play until it is all gone. There have been good days and bad days here. I have felt some of the deserved resentment from Mrs. Hammer at times and am grateful that she has explained to me such. The bright side is that no matter how upset Mrs Hammer might get and no matter how bad I feel, I always have the smiles of my children and the warmth of my wife. I don't want it to seem like she doesn't believe in me because she does and I am working to prove myself worthy of her faith. Speaking of faith (here goes the rambling), thanks to my friends. Your support is really appreciated and felt!! I need it, thanks!! Anyways, it has been over a month (had to check the calendar) since I have made any wager of any kind. I will always remember the day of my last bet, but find it difficult to keep track of the days since that bet. I find it easier to wake up and tell myself I am not going to bet that day and hold myself to that promise when I lay my head to bed that night. Back to Mrs. Hammer, she doesn't nag, or belittle, and she is finally coming around to asking questions. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT SHE WAS SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT I HAVE IN FACT BET ON TENNIS, NASCAR, AND SOCCER DURING MY TENURE. No kidding folks. I don't know shit about any of those sports. Check out dictionary.com and look up compulsion. So with the NCAA coming up, I have been working to come up with a worth while distraction. The city is offering a promotional exam for lieutenants. This is why I have neglected my single digit fan club these last few weeks. I have been reading, outlining, typing, and writing questions since early Jan. Hopefully I will have some good news to report on April 4th. On to my Valentine's day celebration

Mrs. Hammer and I agreed that we would make Valentine's for each other this year, as I have put us in a situation not much different than our country. So the idea of making cards, to me, was really sweet and sincere. Well I think we know what I did. You got it. Nothing!! Came home this morning and Mrs. Hammer gave me a Valentine that I will never forget (haven't finished reading it yet.) She gave me a can wrapped with pictures of Hammer and Nails and filled with candy and hearts cut from construction paper. On those hearts were notes from Hammer, Nails, and Mrs. Hammer telling me how much I mean to them and how much they love me. Talk about wanting to cry. What a great idea!! So sweet and something that I am really starting to appreciate and not take for granted anymore. I am holding off on reading them all at once, as I like the surprise and think they would be great distractions when I am tempted to do something I know I shouldn't. Now those who know me, know that I wouldn't just blow off V-day. Nope not me. I took my wife to a concert to see one of her favorite artists. Jeff Tweedy of Wilco played at the Vic tonight and we went. This was the first time out in a long time I can remember not being distracted with some score, or what my figure was, or what time games started tomorrow. The answer to those questions is I have no clue!! The concert was awesome. She smiled the whole way through, sang along a bit, and laughed as he was quite funny between songs!! Mrs. Hammer, I am sorry for being distracted over the years and letting those distractions get between us. I am grateful to have seen your happiness tonight!! It was palpable and I did feel it!! I continue to work hard, not bet, and try to live a life worth living. One with my family, friends, love and laughter!!! This Valentine's day those expectations have been met with ease. It is the Valentine that I can remember sharing a gift with you and appreciating your happiness. That was the gift you have given me. Seeing your happiness has made me want to wake up again tomorrow and fight for this all over again!! I love all of you and happy valentines day!!!!!

Monday, February 2, 2009

hello detox

so I know I haven't written in a long time, and unfortunately this will be a very short post. I worked yesterday, Super Bowl Sunday, I was not at my regular firehouse and let me tell you that I felt like a guy in need of methadone. 29 guys at this house, lots of testosterone and actually a couple football coaches. Throw in a degenerate that is practicing abstinence and honesty and you have a recipe for disaster. This part of the story has a happy ending. I studied for close to twelve hours (another story as the Lieutenants Exam approaches) and watch in total about 6 minutes of the Super Bowl. After being asked several times to "buy one of the last squares" and declining over and over, I was greeted with "wait until I call Gruber (my regular boss) and tell him that you didn't get in a single pool at the firehouse." Little did they know how delighted Gruber would be. The single most frugal man in the world. So here I am exhausted and wanting to write more, unfortunately it would be a ramble. I will, I promise, write more soon. Just let me get my feet back. Oh yeah, I am proud to say that this is the first superbowl that I can ever remember not betting on at all!! No pools, strip cards, straight bets, prop bets, parlays....nothing...and I got about 13 pages of notes to show for it!!! how many guys studying can say that! I like the idea of knowing that I am catching up to guys that have been studying by taking advantage of my time!! Adios and thanks to my wife for fielding my calls yesterday as kickoff approached...didn't have to say much, just knowing she was there made my evening so much easier!!!