Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The molds that shape us....



So I sit here this evening very tired. I wrote a paper that I should get a poor grade on but probably won't because I don't think they are ever read. I have a wife sleeping upstairs who feels bad that she has trouble staying awake. Lest we not forget she hardly sleeps soundly at night, and that she has to be around 24 or so kids for a school day and finally come home to take care of the hammer and me. I worked at the golf course today, enjoying one of the last beautiful fall days that I believe we will have this season, yet something has pulled me here to write. We are expecting another child soon and have yet to agree on names. The first was easy, we had a really special friend named hammer and it stuck. Just kidding. We decided that we wanted our names to have significance to us. So we named Terry after the man who served as a father to me, and after Mrs. Hammer's father. That brings me to the mold.
You see, we encounter people in our lives that we are reflections of. We are all these walking collages of stained glass. Some pieces of glass are bigger than others, but we are made up of so many. As the sun shines through the colors are reflected and people see just who it is that we are. Terry was the world to me. He challenged me, listened to me, respected me, and made me feel I could be myself. He worked so hard and somehow was available for me. Sometimes I had to force myself on to the schedule by having impromptu visits to the desk of district. Only to be looked at a little cross eyed by whomever asked me my reason for being there, and then I was usually greeted with, "you can send the little pollock in." It was quite endearing. I can remember one time when he wasn't in the best of health and he was doing a favor for my cousin (who is now in the same line of work) by allowing himself to be a reference for him. He had me come up to his room, as getting around had gotten difficult for him, and went to his desk. He took out a pen and put on his glasses, signed his name and then went to review what he had written and just signed. He told me "now when you get promoted, this is your first lesson. Always make sure you double check your work and make sure that nobody is left out to dry." I never really thought of it much until my short time on the job slowly began to grow. He was right. It is important to stick together and not sweat the little stuff. Important for those who work with you and for you to know that you respect them. It is crucial to know that you would walk them through the steps to prevent any harm being done to them. While all of these kind words are true I also want to make it clear that he, like the rest of us, had his faults. But those are blurred to me by his acts of kindness. Where is this going ...I know...blah blah blah..anyways...this leads me to the next piece of glass...
I always tend to bump into people who worked with and for Terry and the all say the same thing. "Great boss, would do anything for you." I thought about those words and wondered. When you talk about a boss, shouldn't it be the other way around. "You would do anything for your boss." Well you are correct. Not to get mathematical on you, but the reciprocal applies as well.
After transferring from my first firehouse to the firehouse I am currently at, people who knew where I was transferring began to echo similar sentiments about the man I would be working for. Little did I know that words could not do him justice. I always wondered what it would be like to work for Terry (if I had been a cop.) Finally, I got my chance. I got to work for a guy who had a slouched walk, a bit of a slur, and just had the look of a salty dog fireman. He spoke to you, not at you. He listened to you and did his best to help you understand why things were the way they were. He spoke the truth, never delivering the company line. This guy would take an interest in what you were doing off the job, making sure that everything was okay and that you were there for those you were working with. He would play golf with the guys in his battalion, spend weekends with the guys, have some drinks with the guys, and always be offering lessons with his actions, not with his words. He believed in treating men like men, not babysitting, and not sugar coating. You know what, he was right. He never had to ask for attention, it was always granted. He never needed someone to turn the tv down when he was talking, it was done when he arrived. He just had a presence about him, you wanted to be around him in the hopes to soak up the knowledge that overflowed from him. I think about this piece of glass that I will now reflect as he has worked his last day and since retired. I know Mrs. Sledge would never approve a name like Porter, but I do know this, it may be a nickname because there is only one other guy that has had a similar impact on me. Sorry for being so long winded. I know this is a lot of bunk for those who are looking for something a little more lighthearted, I will try next time. Attached is the article written about Porter. If you are careful and look past the fire department employer, you may see similarities in someone you know, knew, or hopefully get to know. It makes going to work easy, fun, and most importantly a learning experience.
http://www.suntimes.com/news/steinberg/1260006,CST-NWS-stein05.article

2 comments:

M said...

I didn't know some of that stuff about my dad. It always makes me catch my breath to hear it.

And for the record, I like the man Porter.

If you're looking for a strong man's name that reflects a person of insight, wisdom, hard work, good judgement and spotless character, you should consider "joseph."

just a thought.

Ellen said...

Meg, you just made me cry and not about dad, but the way you described Joe. It is perfect.

Joe, his name should be Joseph.